Learning To Love Progress, Not Perfection

For someone who identifies as recovering perfectionist, learning to love progress (not perfection) has been quite the journey. I can barely recognize some of the thought patterns I used to have! All throughout school I was constantly striving for perfection. Even though I would have denied it upfront, perfectionism was my biggest Achilles heel.

At least in my experience, perfectionism has kind of a spiral-downward effect. The more you cling to perfection, the more it illudes you. The stress and tension you put into everything when you’re trying to be perfect ultimately creates a worse product. Unfortunately, I’ve had way too many teachers and mentors that have told me to strive for exactly that. Unlearning this mindset has taken some time, but has ultimately been for the best! I’m loving my new identity as a recovering perfectionist.

Learning to love progress, not perfection has been such a healthier mindset! Not going to lie, it gets difficult sometimes. (Sometimes you just want to be the very best, you know?) I’d love to share with you some of the tips that have helped me improve my growth mindset.

Being Kind To Yourself

If you want to change your mindset to love progress and not perfection, you’ll have to go easy on yourself. It will take practice to re-wire your brain. Changing you patterns of thought is not easy! Your brain has been using these thought patterns because it knows that will ensure your survival! Don’t expect your mindset to permanently change overnight.

If you’re someone who has perfectionistic tendencies, be kind to yourself! There are reasons why you gravitate towards perfection, and they probably aren’t all good. For myself, I know my perfectionistic tendencies come largely from insecurity. The more time I spent in school, the less safe I felt to make mistakes. I’ve decided to go easy on myself for this! We can’t be perfect all the time, and my brain was just trying to survive in the only way it knew how.

Loving Your Past, No Matter How Messy

Like I said, I’ve had a past of teachers and mentors that only inflamed my perfectionistic tendencies. They made me scramble to produce exceptional results on the first try, and actually, it sometimes worked! In some of my performance classes, was able to create exceptional work without any practice! However, this meant when I really did need coaching on something and didn’t get it right the first time, I felt like something was seriously wrong with me!

Though it’s tempting to wish my education experience was different, I’ve decided to embrace my past no matter what. Without my history of perfectionism, I would have never learned the value of progress! I love that my past will let me empathize with others who have a similar experience. I’m excited to help others who were once in the same position I was.

There Is No Rush!

Perfectionism is notorious for making people feel rushed. You need to be perfect, and you need to be perfect now! Say you’re trying to become a better dancer; perfectionism can really trip you up! You may feel the need to be perfect, so anything less than a perfect dance seems like a waste of time to you. (By the way, I’m drawing from personal experience here!)

This creates a sense of urgency, tension, and frustration. You believe that until you reach some mythical level of skill, you won’t be able to enjoy or appreciate the talent you have thus far! Not only trusting the process, but learning to love the process is a huge step in changing your mindset for the better. Try practicing the thought “there is no rush!” You’ll be taking so much pressure off yourself.

Value What You Learn, Not Just What You Create

I’ve set some big goals this year, but I’ve set them knowing that my biggest takeaway will be what I learn in the process rather than the end result. The biggest motivator I have now is to learn more and improve on myself a little everyday. With this way of thinking, I know I will gain so much, even if I miss my goals. I think this Edison quote sums it up well:

I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.

-Thomas Edison

You have to start embracing how far you’ve come rather than what you haven’t created yet. You’ll have so much to show this way, and will be able to chase your goals with abundance.

Related: How To Build Unbreakable Confidence

Embrace the “Inevitable” Feeling

I love the feeling of inevitability! This is the feeling of knowing that you will meet a goal no matter what. It takes some practice to feel this way about a goal, but it totally works! Last year I had big physique and athletic goals, and this year they didn’t even get on my goals list. Not because I don’t think I can reach them, but because I am so confident I will, I don’t even have to think about it!

Inevitability is a hard feeling to practice, but it definitely pays off. How would it feel to be 100% certain that you’ll reach your goals? As if they’ve already happened? That’s the feeling you should strive for. It makes it so much easier to focus on progress and not perfection this way. It takes all the pressure off of being perfect because you know you will get there eventually.

Related: How To Kiss Stress Goodbye This Year

Stay Inspired To Pursue Progress Not Perfection

Now here are some more practical tips to help you pursue progress and not perfection. I’m all for the practical side of things!

• Have weekly or monthly accountability meetings, always celebrate your progress first
• Save some quotes to keep you focussed on “progress not perfection”
• Keep a journal to record your progress; you’ll be surprised when you look back at it later!

Related: 9 Practical Tips To Stick To Your New Year’s Goals

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