Learning to sing is HARD, and becoming a singer is one of the most vulnerable artistic paths you can take. There is nothing more personal than the human voice when it comes to performance art, in my opinion. Your voice is the one thing that shows the most personal side of you, but unlike a guitar or a piano, you can’t simply switch it out if you aren’t pleased with the sound.
For someone who has had to escape a fair amount of shyness and insecurity, learning to become a singer has been a difficult path for me. Growing out of the shy, cautious person I’ve been was made all the more difficult by the vulnerability that singing requires. Additionally, being a perfectionist by nature meant that I spent too much of my journey being too hard on myself
However, learning to be a proficient singer has been the ultimate exercise in self confidence, passion, hard work, and artistry. I can confidently say that every other area of my life has benefited from my devotion to becoming a good singer. Especially as someone with little natural talent, I’ve proven to myself that I can truly accomplish anything.
So, though you may not be a singer like me, I couldn’t stop myself from sharing some of the valuable life lessons I’ve learned on the way.
Related: How To Build Unbreakable Confidence
Play THe Long Game
Nothing worth learning is easy to learn. Learning to be a singer means you’re playing a long game! I started singing when I was a kid in choirs, and here I am a decade and a half later just scratching the surface on what it means to be a singer. What a lot of people don’t realize is that being a singer take a lot of technique and practice, far more than actual talent!
Like many things, becoming a proficient singer will make it seem like a natural all along. That’s rarely the case! It takes years to get truly proficient, you just don’t see the behind the scenes of the experts you admire.
Did you know that Michael Jackson would practice constantly? He would rehearse for hours everyday, sometimes until he collapsed from exhaustion. Audiences would only ever see the finished product he’d been working on, but they would miss out on the 10,000 hours he had put in to master his performances. He was playing a long game for sure!
Accepting Your Talents
Part of becoming a singer means accepting your talents for what they are. You may have interests in many types of music, but that doesn’t mean you have to be good at all of them. Some of my biggest breakthroughs as a singer came after I realized I don’t have to be good at everything. If you think about the singers you admire, they typically stick to what they’re good at. This doesn’t make them boring, it makes them an expert in what they do! They know what people expect from them and they deliver just that.
Accepting your talents should be how you look at every area of your life. It should create a sense of freedom and excitement for what you are good at! It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t pursue other talents, but simpy that you shouldn’t be hard on yourself for not being good at everything. For myself, I love singing rock, pop, and musical theatre styles. This doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy singing opera, but I certainly don’t put the pressure on myself to be the best at it.
Quitting Comparison
This circles around to accepting your talents again, but we can’t ignore the fact that comparison is a dangerous game that many singers get sucked into. Comparison isn’t exclusive to singers though; and take this as a reminder that comparison isn’t useful in any area of your life. It isn’t fair to compare yourself to other people, no matter what the circumstance is.
I had an especially hard time with this in theatre school. Being a late bloomer as a singer (as well as terribly insecure) made an educational environment especially hard. I was being stack-ranked against my classmates, graded for my performances, and constantly had to watch other people that were more accomplished than myself. It wasn’t easy, but I got through it. After a little space, and a lot of perspective, I grew to give up the comparison game. It’s not fun to play and you don’t win, so give it up!
Related: Learning To Love Progress Over Perfection
You Don’t hAve To Be Good At Everything
As an insecure, budding singer, I tried to be good at everything. I put the pressure on myself to rise the challenge of perfecting every song, style, and genre of music. This gets exhausting after a while! You can’t be the best at everything, so why not pick something you like and try to get really good at that? This has been my approach since I left school, and I love the pressure it’s relieved from my performances.
I’ve been really drawn to rock music since I left school, so that’s been my main focus when expanding my repertoire. Instead of feeling confined by one style, I’ve loved specializing in this style and using it to grow my confidence as a singer. As a singer, it’s important to have a good pulse on your niche. There are so many areas of life where being niched-down is a huge advantage, it allows you to become an expert!
This doesn’t mean I’m going to ignore other styles of singing, because I can’t in my line of work. (I have an annoying amount of musical theatre songs in my rep book I’d love to use at least sometime!) But I love the feeling of knowing I am a rock singer, because that’s my favorite thing to sing. Which leads us to the most important point!
Do Something Because You LOve It
What is the point of doing something, devoting the 10,000 hours to mastery, if you don’t love it? Likewise, don’t stop singing just because you feel insecure, discouraged, or behind in your skill. Your passion and enthusiasm for the craft is what makes you an artist, and it should be what keeps you going!
During my time at school, I wanted to be a good singer, but I didn’t love singing! Singing was stressful and exhausting. I felt it was a constant source of judgement from both myself and others. With this kind of mindset, it’s no wonder I never found my voice! You find your voice when you truly love what you do.
Becoming a singer has been a metaphor for so many other areas of my life. It’s such a personal art form, that’s so close to my heart. I truly feel like I’ve climbed a mountain to be where I am at now as a singer, and for that I am proud. I know if I can create this result in my life as a singer, I can create it anywhere. You can too!
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Thanks for sharing your personal journey! I absolutely love to sing. And it’s something I’m always working to get better at as I play a little guitar too and like to combine them. One thing I’ve learned is it takes practice and consistency, which I don’t always have time for. Congrats on following your dream of being a singer and overcoming your shyness 🙂
Thank you so much! Yes, I think people tend to underestimate just how enjoyable it is to play music or sing when it’s something you truly love. Even if you don’t have a lot of time for it, it’s still so valuable 🙂
These things can be applied to all activities, not just singing.
The one that really resonated with me is Play the Long Game. All five are important, but that one made me audibly say, “Yass!” 🤣
I think people give up too easily on things because of expectations of quick success. Anything worth doing well is worth dedicating a lot of time to. What do they say, “it takes 10,000 hours to master something?” That’s a lot of time investment needed.
Thanks for the article and congrats and good luck with your singing.
Thanks so much! Yes, I agree, I think people are so used to instant gratification these days that they get discouraged and give up before they get to the good stuff. It’s so worth it to be committed for the long haul though!
Thank you for sharing your personal experience. I think you’re right, people do not know what it takes to be a singer!…it’s me, I’m people.
Like you said in your example with Michael Jackson we do only see the finished product and often times have no idea what goes on behind the scenes. I know I never thought to take a peak.
I feel so proud for you on your journey and wish you the best of luck! Being vulnerable is not a task that is easy to everyone.
Thank you so much! I’m so glad you appreciated it, even if you’re not familiar with a singer’s journey :D. There’s always a lot going on behind the scenes in everybody’s life.
Such a good blog post. I like when you said you don’t have to be good at everything. That is such a good lesson.
I’m glad you think so! It’s important to take the pressure off ourselves to be good at everything, for sure 😀
This is so inspirational and can be such a confidence boost to many! And true, choose one thing you love and do it well; we are but humans, we can’t be good at everything.
I’m so glad you resonate with that! Yes, it’s been super helpful for me to realize I don’t have to be good at everything. It helps you be so much kinder to yourself!